Showing posts with label LGBT issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LGBT issues. Show all posts

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Quote of Two Days Ago The Day

"Those people are different."

- a nurse in a Fresno hospital telling a patient why other patients' visitors were allowed where she was but her (same sex) partner was not.

Pam Spaulding has the horror story over at Pandagon. Well worth reading.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Amazing What One Word Can Do

Sam Shulman at The Weekly Standard has an interesting little rant about how Same Sex Marriage advocates are hijacking "romantic marriage" to advance their cause, and how marriage as an institution is really all about extended families, fertility and controlling protecting women.

As Mustang Bobby says over at Bark Bark Woof Woof, Wow. Just wow.

For me, Shulman's money quote is this:
When, in spite of current enthusiasm, gay marriage turns out to disappoint or bore the couples now so eager for its creation, its failure will be utterly irrelevant for gay people.

Given that Shulman also says this:
The entity known as “gay marriage” only aspires to replicate a very limited, very modern, and very culture-bound version of marriage. Gay advocates... are replicating what we might call the “romantic marriage,” a kind of marriage that is chosen, determined, and defined by the couple that enters into it. Romantic marriage is now dominant in the West and is becoming slightly more frequent in other parts of the world.

... the chief issue he seems to have is that marriage for love - gay or straight - is a fad, foisted on us by the Romantic movement, and destructive of civilisation in the long run. The fun I have is what happens to the first quote if "gay" is removed from the line:

"When, in spite of current enthusiasm, marriage turns out to disappoint or bore the couples now so eager for its creation, its failure will be utterly irrelevant for people."

Read like that, it's much clearer how divorce became so prevalent in our society: if "romantic marriage" has failed, and those who entered into it have become disappointed or bored, naturally terminating the disappointing or boring endeavour becomes more attractive.

Yet somehow, despite an easy progression from society's boredom with "romantic marriage" to the current divorce statistics as a measure for how transient "traditional marriage" has become, it's not "romantic marriage" that is the problem for Shulman, it's that Teh Gay is trying to own the concept - when in his reality marriage is really all about The Clan, The Sex, The Ownership and The Babies and Love and Romance have nothing to do with it. That one word - "Gay" - has become so powerful to Shulman that it can rewrite all of the history of modern marriage, overwrite Shakespeare, Austen, Bronte, Shaw et al, and totally dismiss the simple fact that "romantic marriage" is far more a construct of the straight world than the gay one and that LGBT folks just want a piece of what hets have had a monopoly on for the last three hundred years at least.

Just one word. That's all it takes.

Wow. Just wow.

UPDATE: MJWS at The Reaction brings up this little gem to rebut Shulman.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Iraqi Liberation and (Un)Intended Consequences

One of the key principles we were given for the invasion of Iraq - at least after we were told repeatedly about Saddam Hussein's ties to terrorists and plans to attack the US - was that the freedom-loving, humane Iraqi people were just waiting to be liberated from their cruel oppressors. We were repeatedly spun yarns about the open and free society a post-Saddam Iraq (with US help) would look like.

It certainly didn't include this:
"A prominent Iraqi human rights activist says that Iraqi militia have deployed a painful form of torture against homosexuals by closing their anuses using 'Iranian gum.' ...Yina Mohammad told Alarabiya.net that, 'Iraqi militias have deployed an unprecedented form of torture against homosexuals by using a very strong glue that will close their anus.' According to her, the new substance 'is known as the American hum, which is an Iranian-manufactured glue that if applied to the skin, sticks to it and can only be removed by surgery. After they glue the anuses of homosexuals, they give them a drink that causes diarrhea. Since the anus is closed, the diarrhea causes death. Videos of this form of torture are being distributed on mobile cellphones in Iraq.'"
Towleroad has more.

Of course, the victims in the story are all Teh Gay, so it's possible pro-war Conservatists considered the potential for this sort of development acceptable.

Before anyone starts with "well, it's over there" arguments, consider that this is a fairly new phenomenon in Iraq - post-invasion, to be precise. Also, James Dobson, Michael Savage, Jerry Falwell and a host of other Conservatists have made statements that would encourage anti-LGBT violence here in the US. When challenged, they passed those statements off as "humour" and accused their challengers as "hypersensitive." This story certainly isn't humour, and factual. Try being hypersensitive to that.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Beauty Is As Beauty Does

... and Miss California's got some serious thinking to do if she believes she's as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

There's Nothing More Forlorn Than A Closed Pub

... unless, of course, it's hundreds of them.
"As the recession prompts U.K. pub crawlers to drink at home more often, two of the country's biggest pub owners are selling or closing hundreds of locations to pay the tab from a decade-long expansion.

Punch Taverns PLC and Enterprise Inns PLC together own nearly a third of the U.K.'s 56,000 public houses. The two emerged as leaders of the pub industry by borrowing heavily when credit was cheap, snapping up thousands of the cherished British drinking halls, which have long served as both an extension of the living room and the social nexus of neighborhoods here."
The WSJ article goes on to describe how the drinking Brit is now buying his brew at Sainsbury's and getting potted at home rather than going out to what used to be the neighborhood social centre and doing it there. A study they cite indicates that "pubs sell 6.7 million fewer pints per day than they did 10 years ago," which is pretty dire as the population has grown substantially since then.

As a footnote, the Bath Tap, pictured above, which happens to be an Enterprise property, was the sole LGBT-friendly pub in Bath when I visited last. It wasn't particularly exciting, but it was friendly and lively when I was there. It's sad to see it go.

UPDATE: it's curious that, just as these two firms are announcing sales and closures of existing pubs, Enterprise Inns is still touting its "Your Way Inn" franchise programme on its Website.

Unfinished Work: A Footnote

If James Kirchick thinks that the battle for LGBT legitimacy in the US is largely won, then he obviously hasn't read this.

Kudos to Jonathan Capehart for taking his fellow WaPo columnists to task on this one. And a loud HURRAH to Representative (and retired admiral) Joe Sestak for speaking out, as well.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Unfinished Work

Mustang Bobby at Bark Bark Woof Woof put up a marvelous takedown of New Republic assistant editor James Kirchick's recent commentary in the Washington Post about the state of the LGBT movement.

Kirchick:
Just in time for spring wedding season, gay marriage activists are celebrating a triumphant few weeks. Last Tuesday, the Vermont legislature effectively legalized same-sex unions in that state. Days earlier, the Iowa Supreme Court had ruled that a statute barring gay marriage was unconstitutional. And here in the nation's capital, the D.C. Council voted unanimously to recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere.

But amid all the history being made, one gay rights organization did something really historic: It announced that it would shut its doors at the end of the year, because its mission was complete.

Formed in 1999 to lobby for the right of gay couples to adopt children in Connecticut, Love Makes a Family was the lead organization advocating for same-sex marriage in that state. It successfully lobbied lawmakers to pass a civil unions bill in 2005, but fell short of achieving its ultimate goal until last October, when the state supreme court ruled that the Connecticut constitution endows same-sex couples with the right to marry.

"Mission accomplished" is one of the most difficult things to say when your organization depends on working toward a cause, but Love Makes a Family did it. And other gay groups may soon need to follow suit. If the gay community truly wants to achieve equality, it will have to overcome a victim mindset that is slowly becoming obsolete.

[...]

Once the goals of an organization with a specific mission are achieved, as Love Makes a Family's were last October, it should relish its victory, cease operations and move on. This is the sign of communal maturity. The continued operation of a gay rights organization in the state that was the first to institute marriage equality and that has the most progressive gay rights laws in the country reflects a sense of eternal victimhood.

[...]

This is a realization that comes easier to younger gays like me (I'm 25) than to older ones. For people who grew up in a time when being open about one's homosexuality could result in being fired or thrown into prison, it's harder to move out of a mindset that sees the plight of gay people as one of perpetual struggle. This attitude is all the more pronounced in those who hold leadership positions in the gay rights movement, as their life's work depends upon the notion that we are always and everywhere oppressed.

It's in the culture of any institution to justify its existence. This is especially so with civil rights groups, which thrive on a sense of persecution, real or perceived.
BBWW:
In the first place, "the notion that we are always and everywhere oppressed" isn't just a notion. It's a fact, both in state, federal, and local laws and in large segments of the majority religious faith -- Christianity -- in this country. It's not just a notion when the state of Florida still bans adoption by gay couples for no other reason than they are gay. It's not just a notion when 46 states can still discriminate against same-sex couples getting married. It's not just a notion when members of Congress can still advocate amending the Constitution of the United States to specifically target a significant portion of the citizenry of the country based solely on an innate trait such as sexual orientation. And it sure wasn't a notion to Matthew Shepard or any of the other countless gays, lesbians, bisexual, transgender and others who have faced brutality, cruelty, demonization, and terrorism, sometimes at the hands of their own family. It's all too clear that oppression, real or perceived, is out there.

It's not as if passing laws or achieving a victory means the battles are over. Melissa McEwan of Shakesville and I were discussing this via e-mail today, and she noted that "the National Organization for Women was founded in founded in 1966 as a general women's advocacy organization, but, by virtue of the politics of the time period, had a heavy focus on Roe -- which they've STILL got to defend today, almost 40 years after its passage. Is there any reason to expect that same-sex marriage will just be a 'done deal,' given what's happened in California?!" Absolutely not.

Mr. Kirchick is correct in saying that some civil rights groups -- or at least elements of them -- tend to perpetuate their own existence and could conceivably outlive their usefulness, but that may be more a problem within the group, not the cause itself. And at the risk of taking a page from Benjamin H. Grumbles, this young whippersnapper wouldn't be able to come out with an article like this if it hadn't been for old farts like me and the people who stood up at Stonewall in 1969, or going back further, who literally risked life and fortune to form the Mattachine Society and advocate for gay rights in 1950, two years before I was born. At the tender age of 25, he has benefited from the work -- not to mention the pain and suffering -- of a lot of men and women, gay and straight, who worked to give him a world where he can sit there are blithely say, gee, thanks, you made your point, now shut up and go away.

I started to add my own thoughts on the matter at BBWW, but the posting ran into comment limitations, so I'm posting them here instead.

I hate to draw comparisons with the GWoT here, but NTodd's comment at BBWW ("Oh, Mission Accomplished? Awesome! [hangs up tiara]") reminded me that the struggle against terrorism, loudly proclaimed complete in May '03, is still going on. A key milestone does not a victory make, any more than a crushing defeat signals the end of a particular movement or philosophy.

The LGBT rights movement has had both a cyclical history and an expanding sphere of interest. Between Stonewall and the '80s it was all about the novelty of being gay, the demand for recognition that being gay shouldn't require imprisonment or therapy, and that respect as human beings should be universal. HIV knocked all that out of the argument as the Right used the disease as a cudgel against "immorality" and "sin" and the LGBT rights organisations became more concerned with (literal) survival than equality. I remember, for example, more protests against Burroughs Wellcome or Glaxo than against public policy from those days. Reagan and Thatcher certainly didn't help matters any, and popular support from other quarters kept them in power for most of that decade. Once the epidemic became manageable through the new drug regimens, and diagnosis was no longer an automatic death sentence, the movement relaxed a bit - just in time for the 1993 Hawai'i court decision which struck down that state's marriage law and fueled the SSM movement. The whole "defense of marriage" shtick is a product of backlash from opponents allowed traction at a time when the LGBT lobby grew complacent.

Likewise, the sphere has expanded from its roots. 1960s gay activism was about middle-class white men. The modern movement includes lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals and others with gender identity concerns, LGBT people of colour - virtually the entire range of non-hetero sexual identities and non-hetero non-missionary sexual practices (I'm thinking particularly of the SM community, but there are certainly others). As our understanding of gender identity and healthy variances in sexuality has grown the movement has expanded to include them. Those battles are certainly not over.

I'm glad that Love Makes A Family feels that its goals are achieved, and that its task is done. But the end for one civil rights organisation is not the end of a civil rights struggle. GLAAD, Lambda Legal, CT Civil Rights Defense Coalition, Queers Without Borders and a host of other organisations remain active in that state. Love Makes A Family may be no more, but that has as much to do with the luxury of other groups' continuing work as it does with the fulfillment of LMAF's advocacy.

The unfortunate part of all this is that active resistance to LGBT equality is fast becoming both a religious and regional phenomenon. The chief opponents are religious extremists (Christian and Muslim groups chiefly though there are more) and reactionary Conservatives - though those two groups are frequently indistinguishable. In the US there is good reason to claim that acceptance at least has been achieved outside two dividing lines: the Mason Dixon Line and the Continental Divide. North and West of those markers tolerance at least has been largely achieved, California's Prop 8 notwithstanding; South and East of that LGBT issues still face an uphill battle.

There's also the fact that the LGBT community, by its very definition, encompasses segments of other groups that have faced their own issues in society. Being Caucasian and gay is very different from being Latina and lesbian, or from being Southeast Asian and transgendered. The community has had to deal, in more than a few cases, not only with the external prejudices and resistance of the mainstream hetero Conservatism but with the prejudices within its ranks.

Mr. Kirchick's comments about his age say more about the naivete of the twentysomething than the liberation of the new generation. He certainly hasn't had to worry overmuch about being assaulted and then arrested on the street at midday; he hasn't been concerned about being knifed on his way home from a night out, then dismissed by the authorities as (as Kevin Spacey put it so succinctly in L.A. Confidential) "just another... homo-cide"; his being out at work wasn't the immediate and irretrievable end to his career; and the whole host of indignities foisted on his elders haven't really impacted his world all that much. But those indignities are less than a generation removed from the current debate, and have waxed and waned considerably over the last few decades as new voices of intolerance and narrow-mindedness have continued to surface and as Conservatism and Xtianity have continued to use the LGBT community as both punching bag and poster child for all that they consider wrong in society. LGBT people have been blamed by these groups for everything from youth delinquency rates, to the prevalence of divorce in society, to the attacks of 11 September 2001 and the disastrous hurricanes of 2004 and 2005 - and there is a measurable proportion of the population willing to accept those charges as valid. The National Organization for Marriage's otherwise laughable recent efforts are a clear indication that those sentiments persist. Claiming victory under those circumstances is premature at best.

His viewpoint - that the younger generations are more accepting, which will make the battles easier - also conveniently forgets two other things. First, the nation's leaders are of at least the age of most of those who survived the tumult of the HIV pandemic and the earlier SSM debates, and they will be part of the group shaping public policy for some time. Growing support for LGBT issues from their younger constituents will not change their rhetoric any more than the 19th Amendment automatically made women's voices in government unique and powerful. Also, the same youthful voices were heard in the 1960s denouncing war, greed and inequality: many of the generation we now know fondly as "flower children" became some of the most intolerant, greedy, militant people in our society, supporting the policies of those they had denounced so loudly in their youth. Assuming that the latest generation's perspective will remain constant on any issue is remarkably shortsighted.

I would view the LGBT movement's history, not in comparison with NOW (whose history has encompassed a relatively fixed set of ideals and goals under regular assault) but with NAACP (whose goals have evolved as the movement has made progress on the basic issues). The right to vote may never have been an issue for all, but safety of life and limb, freedom to associate and organise, and rights to employment, housing and equal medical care have all been under attack at some time or other and remain not entirely certain today.

If Mr. Kirchick thinks the battle is won, and that LGBT rights are essentially achieved and oppression has ended, I suggest he take a long stroll hand in hand with his SO down the streets of Odessa, TX, Bakersfield, CA, Pensacola, FL, Valdosta, GA, or any of a hundred other small Conservative towns and see just how far he gets.

Monday, April 13, 2009

More Small Tent Politicking

Last week Andrew Sullivan put up this razor-sharp dissection of why the New Right - particularly the Fundie set - isn't interested in anything remotely LGBT-friendly.
National Review clearly believes that gays exist beyond the boundaries of civilized life, or even social life, let alone the purview of social policy. But, of course, a total absence of social policy is still a social policy.

...

As far as National Review is concerned, homosexuals can go to hell. Their interests and views cannot even be accorded respect. They are non-persons to National Review: means, not ends.

Flip this around and you see what the theocon right actually believes: that society has no interest in the welfare of its gay citizens, and an abiding interest in ensuring that they remain unequal, feel unequal and suffer the consequences of a culture where family and commitment and fidelity are non-existent.
Recently, the RNC Chairman himself has given yet more evidence that LGBT citizens - even LGBT citizens who are (mystifyingly) Republican - aren't of any importance.

Humph.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

On Faith, Sexuality, Privilege and Projection

The great argument between the Far Right Xtians and the LGBT community has heated up of late, as public bodies give more latitude to LGBT needs and less to Xtian dogma in the public sphere. The Xtians are increasingly crying that the recognition of LGBT issues is an infringement on their freedom of religion and an imposition on their way of life.

Much of the differences between these two camps springs from fundamental misunderstandings on each side of the other, and of projection of each side's perspective on the other's goals.

The LGBT community is largely a “live-and-let-live” group, disinterested in enforcing its own lifestyle and preferences on the rest of the population but concerned when society at large denies it basic human dignity. It is neither expansionist nor authoritarian, and seeks only the respect and consideration it feels all humans deserve.

The Xtian community is by definition a messianic, missionary community who sees its role as saviour of Humanity. Xtians hold themselves apart even from most other Christian sects, believing them misled or “straying” from the True Faith, and driven to correct this “mistake” at any cost. They seek to correct the failures in civil society, and hold high standards for personal conduct according to a very precise, specific code. That they do this for the benefit of all and for the eventual salvation of Humanity is relevant: their cause has merit in their eyes, and in the eyes of many outside their realm.

The problem arises from each side of this argument's unconscious projection of its goals and methodologies on the other. The Xtians are recruitment-based: their membership is either indoctrinated in their youth or converted from some other belief (or from lack of belief altogether), and their aim is to project their “True Discipline” globally. Any impediment to this approach is perceived by them as persecution. The LGBT community is a passively created group: there is no “recruitment” to sexual identity, though any who define themselves as non-hetero are de facto members of the group and are perceived as deserving of the same respect and ability to live their lives without oppression. They are, however, adamant about the intrusive nature of any group's efforts to “convert,” “change” or "save” them since they believe it unnecessary – whether through faith that their Creator built them the way they are or through faith or lack of it that does not admit such direct Divine involvement in their existence.

Take for example the same-sex marriage issue. Marriage has had many functions over the ages beyond basic procreation: political and business alliances have been made, status established, power consolidated or conferred, and governments augmented or replaced all through marriages. Polygamy and polyandry both have a long history, and are still accepted in multiple cultures; the binary “one man, one woman” approach to heterosexual marriage is but one variant on the practice. The concept of marrying for love is fairly new: the far older tale is of a marriage for some other purpose wherein love is afterward found. Shakespeare first bridged the gap, though the Romantic movement made a good deal more of the concept. For the LGBT this is a civil right, divorced from religious overtones as described as early as the Deist writings of the 18th Century and as promised in the Constitution. Xtians see marriage as a key component of their Code and Law, and dismiss other positions outright as the product of “false” or “misled” beliefs which must be opposed for the good both of their own (for their protection) and for those thus led astray (for their eventual salvation).

Take also the claims of the Xtians that the LGBT community “recruits” young people and seeks to “infiltrate” schools and youth organisations to bring new “members” into the group. Xtians, of course, use such methods to spread The Word, and expect this approach from their members as a natural facet of practicing The Faith. LGBT persons, in contrast, recognise only that sexuality begins to be exhibited at a fairly young age, and regardless of one's faith needs to be handled with care, love and respect: the idea of “recruitment” is ridiculous, since the determining factors are more biological and familial than doctrinaire, and since there is no goal inherent in LGBT identification to “convert” any but rather to uphold and support those who think and feel as they do. Recruitment is alien to LBGT life; it is not, however, to Xtianity. Thus, the Xtians see in LGBT teachers a conscious effort to “pervert” the young people in their care, while the LGBT community sees only professionals dedicated to the improvement of all young people with no agenda beyond educating the young.

Take also how each group deals with its leadership. LGBT groups run the gamut of liberal to conservative, Christian to Xtian to Jewish to Muslim to agnostic to atheist, and are judged according to their adherence to these from an LGBT perspective. Log Cabin Republicans, for example, are often denounced by Progressives for their willingness to accommodate those who oppose them (thus diminishing chances of achieving true equality for their LGBT constituents), but they are not ostracized, excluded from the community or otherwise shunned. It is, after all, their right to speak and act as they do, though their goals and methods can rightly be questioned. Xtian leadership, in contrast, is often held to strict standards dictated by Xtian Law; breach of this Law is often met with removal from positions of power (either forced or voluntary, though voluntary vacations of position are often attempts to save face and avoid impending removal), and though forgiveness is a key component of The Law's philosophy it is usually only granted after much penance. LGBT leadership is measured by results and by adherence to civil law and decency; Xtian leadership is measured by the stricter standard of Xtian Law, which in those circles takes precedence over the civil law it frequently seeks to supersede.

In each case, the conflict stems from fundamental misunderstanding of each group's aims and methods. The Xtians, themselves seeking to convert all to their True Faith and holding steadfast to a particular Code of Conduct, see in any other group (including LGBT) a like-minded philosophy and agenda, and see in those groups' activities signs of the other's diabolical assault on The Faithful. Opposition to other philosophies is not only right, but virtuous, and demanded by The Divine in order to save all Humanity. LGBT people, desiring only to be respected for themselves and seeking inhibitions on those who would constrain or outlaw their own lifestyle and seeking only respect and forbearance from those around them: belief is irrelevant to them in this context, and the only truth that obtains in context is that different people are prone to different inclinations and behaviours which, practiced as free adult citizens in a nation presumably devoted to personal liberties and rights, ought to be respected. The LGBT position is not morally relativist, but merely the recognition that a belief system cannot dictate more basic portions of an individual's makeup deserving of respect from civil society.

Herein lies the rub: Xtian philosophy considers its Law superior to that of the State. Further, the Xtian missionary bent encourages – if not demands – its adherents to implement its Law in the public sphere as an obligation of The Faith. Xtians tend to see other groups with different understanding of the place of civil government in the same light. The precedence civil law takes in a pluralist society is viewed as a failure both of society and of The Faith, since civil law is the work of the public and presumed to be without the Divine inspiration Xtian Law claims. Imposition of civil law on the Xtian Faithful is perceived as a diminution both of their rights and of their stated goals, as it dilutes the code by which the Faithful are expected to live.

In contrast, the LGBT community, being drawn from a larger philosophical circle, see the imposition of any Divinely-inspired law as an encroachment by those intent on remaking society according to that one philosophy's precepts, to the detriment of their rights as citizens. Opposition to such efforts is not based on the Rightness of their opposition, but on the Wrongness of imposing a single philosophy's narrow interpretation of its own code on a society that does not universally share that philosophy.
What makes this friction of perspective pertinent is that the US was founded as, and still remains, a civil government founded on pluralist philosophy. In circumstance after circumstance, civil law trumps the tenets of Faith with regard to LGBT issues. Four states now allow same sex marriage, all states now recognize same sex affiliations as legal and its practices immune from prosecution, and workplace and housing protection is broadening. The LGBT community – like most US citizens – perceive this as the natural evolution of civil society under the framework of the Constitution. The Xtians, however, recognizing no law above Their Own, and seeking to implement that (for the benefit of all in both this life and the next), perceive such changes not only as challenges to their own tenets but outright offenses against them. In their zeal to remake the US as the Xtian nation they desire, they see the imposition of common law in the public sphere as an affront to their beliefs, not conceiving that their certainty of Rightness is not shared nor could be persuasive to those who disagree. The requirements of accommodation in such circumstances is anathema to a philosophy that denies the primacy of the civil sphere and demands that such be superseded by Divinely-inspired legal code.

In the end, much of the friction is a function of the fundamental misunderstanding of each group by the other. The LGBT community does not see the separation of church and state in a civil forum as an impediment to Faith, and see attempts to legislate according to a particular faith an imposition on civil rights. The Xtians, seeing the same civil forum as subordinate to the Divine, and who seek conversion of all within it (for their own good), see any constraint on their efforts as restriction of religious practice as it interferes with one of their key religious principles.

PWNing 2 Million 4 Marriage

In my last post, I discussed the cluelessness and/or outright cynicism of an anti-marriage effort that labels itself 2M4M. Seems cluelessness was more appropriate after all.

From the website for the just-registered domain 2M4M.org:
It's surprising how quickly things can get started. Just this morning I was looking forward to a relaxing weekend and then the news hit about the 2M4M campaign that opponents of marriage rights were mounting. As many were scratching their heads at the choice of name, it occured to me that the obvious Internet presence, 2M4M.org was sitting unused.

Well, it is unused no longer. Welcome to 2M4M.org, or Two Men For Marriage. This site will present the facts about marriage equality as a counter to the fear, uncertainty and doubt being sown by the opponents of equal rights.
I first saw the site go up last night, and already there's a fairly thorough skeleton put up.

WOO-HOO!

Friday, April 10, 2009

This Goes Right Up There With Republican Twittering

Box Turtle Bulletin has unearthed another NOM item - one that illustrates just how out of touch these wingnuts are, or how cynical they must be.
Right on the heels of their much-mocked zombie ad sponsoring their Opus Dei buddy, NOM brings us their latest:
In just a few minutes, NOM President Maggie Gallagher and I will hold a press conference in Trenton, NJ, announcing an ambitious new nationwide “2 Million for Marriage” (2M4M) initiative.
C’mon. You’ve got to be kidding.

Surely her PR people are having a laugh at her expense. Can anyone really be in PR and not have at least done a quick google to see if your new acronym is going to engender giggles?

Although…. if I saw, “Hi, we’re 2M4M and we are against marriage”, it might make some weird sense.
Either these volk don't know the popular connotations of "M4M," or they're hoping to delude some uninformed LGBT and LGBT-supporting people into backing their bigoted cause. Either way this is just priceless.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

C’mon Over, My Wife’s Away

There's been a lot of noise about the recent events in Iowa and Vermont, particularly from the Chicken Little School of Conservative Thinking. Steve Benen, Shakesville, BBWW, Box Turtle Bulletin and others have all covered it rather nicely.

It occurs to me, though, that there's a reason for the marriage issue is so big for the RWNM that's not being discussed all that much.

Living in SW Florida, I run into all sorts. One of the types I try to avoid is the "married but playful" kind: the ones that are stepping out on their spouses to indulge their preferences on the down-low. It's messy for them, it's uncomfortable for me and it's dishonest on both parts to carry on anything more than a one-night stand under those conditions. Quite frankly, I won't knowingly have anything to do with it. However, the number of folks I meet who do or will is startling.

The RWNM has long presented civil rights issues as a zero-sum game: more for you is less for me. The idea of an expanding set of civil rights - indeed, of rights in any sense - seems alien to them. They did this with civil rights based on race and sex, and they've done it more than a few times based on sexual identity.

In the SSM case, my hypothesis is this: many of the naysayers are acquainted with more than a few married couples who aren't straight, and legalisation of SSM would drive them to divorce their spouses and marry their partners.

This is offensive on a number of levels. I'll hit the chief ones that bother me: feel free to add your own in comments.

First, their position assumes that there are a lot of couples who married for convenience, respectability, and tax and insurance benefits. This perspective reduces those marriages to pure business contract: there's nothing "sacred" about getting married just to be added to your spouse's health insurance or to file joint tax returns. If SSM is legalised, these marriages will be shown up for the transactional relationships they are, and the arguments about the "sanctity of marriage" will instantly evaporate.

Second, the assumption that there are substantial numbers of couples who married for convenience and respectability undermines the arguments about "special rights" for a "small minority." There is an unstated assumption in the position that the actual number of people who would self-identify as LGBT if SSM were legalised is substantially higher than is either reflected in accepted sociological statistics or claimed by the naysayers - perhaps as high as 30-40%. The RWNM doesn't want to be seen as hostile to proportions that high - just look with the GOP has done to court the Hispanic vote in recent years - so numbers like that can't be allowed to see the light of day. So long as they can talk about a small number of "deviants" rather than a substantial minority of law-abiding LGBT citizens they can continue to whinge about the "special" and "excessive" demands of those LGBT citizens willing to make noise on behalf of the rest. If the numbers they fear become public, prior statements denouncing the LGBT movement as a tiny fringe of society seeking preferential treatment will be meaningless.

Third, the naysayers are expecting legalisation of SSM to produce an immediate uptick in the divorce rate as all those marriages of convenience adjust. Their assumption seems to be that this will be an immediate phenomenon. Again, they are failing to take into account that divorce is a messy business not undertaken lightly, that many of the marriages they think are jeopardised by the new laws are prone to dissolution not just because the new alternative is available, and that said marriages are taken so lightly that they are at risk in the first place. This puts yet another torpedo into the "sacred institution" meme simply because it implies that marriage is so fragile that it won't withstand expansion.

Fourth, there is the unspoken awareness that marriages of convenience are loveless, unhappy things foisted on these people in the name of respectability and social harmony. The numbers the anti-SSM voices fear, should they manifest, would spotlight their commitment to a cruel, oppressive social policy that demanded those in MOCs live lies just to be accepted. It might even be enough to cause a resounding backlash, and it would certainly encourage opposition to their other platform planks. The idea that marrying the person one prefers to have sex with produces happiness is no more true than marrying a person one prefers not to have sex with produces unhappiness: however, these people apparently fail to recognize that point.

Searching through my memory, I can recall perhaps three couples I have known who tied the knot for legal benefit, social respectability or camouflage for non-hetero behaviour. That's three (maybe) out of some hundreds of married people. I have, however, met many who cling to this "sanctity of marriage" argument - all the while indulging in extramarital recreations (and sometimes more serious involvements) and keeping it quiet. LGBT personal ads and Website profiles that demand "discretion" abound in the South and particularly in SW FL, which term I am learning is codespeak for "I'm hitched and playing on the side, but I don't want my spouse/employer/church to find out." I hardly think these same people would run to the courts to annul those marriages simply because they don't have to stay in them to claim the attendant legal or financial benefits. There may be a readjustment of sorts over time, but there won't be crowds beating down the divorce courts' doors the moment these laws are signed.

This, though, seems to be the likely calamity the anti-SSM lobbies fear: that all those people they know personally who are in some marriage of some sort of convenience would immediately ditch their present arrangements and swap them for the SSM they really desire. Should that happen, all the RWNM's rants about the Sanctity of the Institution of Marriage, the Needs of Teh Childern, the Special Rights Teh Gay Demands and other such memes would suddenly and forcefully ring hollow as all those people their positions drove to these MOCs were allowed to choose a more desirable legal alternative.

H/T to Mustang Bobby at Bark Bark Woof Woof for the title.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

It Must Be The Altitude

Four stories out of Colorado (three via Mustang Bobby at Bark Bark Woof Woof) caught my eye today.

The first two are typical wingnut histrionics over Teh Sex and other yukky things. First comes state senator Scott Renfroe:
It all started with Republican Scott Renfroe of Greeley, who got some attention for comments he made Monday about a bill that extends health benefits to same-sex partners of state employees. It's "an abomination according to Scripture," Renfroe said, according to the Colorado Independent, to "[take] sins and [make] them to be legally OK.”

Renfroe -- apparently a magnanimous kind of guy -- was willing to admit that homosexuality isn't the only sin listed in the Bible. "I’m not saying this is the only sin that is out there. Obviously we have sin -- we have murder, we have, we have all sorts of sin, we have adultery, and we don’t make laws making those legal, and we would never think to make murder legal," he said.

I wonder how well Renfroe has read his Leviticus (since that's apparently what he's basing this on), and if so whether he thinks twice when he orders baby back ribs or fried shrimp, or when he shaves, or when he wears a poly/cotton blend shirt, or ...

Up next, Dave Schultheis, who for some reason thinks HIV testing of already pregnant women is somehow supportive of promiscuity:
Sexual promiscuity, we know, causes a lot of problems in our state, one of which, obviously, is the contraction of HIV. And we have other programs that deal with the negative consequences -- we put up part of our high schools where we allow students maybe 13 years old who put their child in a small daycare center there.

We do things continually to remove the negative consequences that take place from poor behavior and unacceptable behavior, quite frankly, and I don’t think that’s the role of this body.

His was the only opposing vote on the matter, by the way. I wonder if it occurs to him that pregnant women have had sex already to become pregnant in the first place, so the damage is, so to speak, already done. And the whole presumption that people should be stuck with the consequences their bad choices (which apparently includes children and/or incurable illnesses) is so hateful, misogynistic and downright unChristian as to turn one's stomach.

The third was the demise of the Rocky Mountain News. This, coupled with the imminent demise of the San Francisco Chronicle, is just one more indication of how badly off both the economy and actual journalism are right now.

The last one, however, is just priceless.

Last week a Denver bus driver, while helping two elderly passengers cross the street at their stop, was hit by a truck. He was badly injured, but the story implies that he is recovering.

The priceless part? His actions were so praiseworthy and commendable that the Colorado State Police took note - and cited him for jaywalking.

Of course, the CSP also cited the driver of the truck and the other guy who was helping out (even though he wasn't struck), and they're continuing to investigate (apparently whether to cite the two passengers who needed help in the first place), so I suppose evenhandedness here was the rule of the day.

Given stories like these, I just do not understand what it takes to live there.